Rescuers Down Under
by Shenzi
Summary: In a crazy adventure on the Austrailian Outback an Austrailian boy (with no Austrailian accent) is reascued by mice.
1. Dumbass falls off a cliff

Hi this is Shenzee, from in)sanes story. In)sane and I just watched "the rescuers down under" and now I shall write a parody of it. So enjoy, thankee very much.  
  
Disclaimer thingy: I own nothing. I rent my box. Joking!  
  
The Rescuers Down (er. up) Under  
  
Begins looking at this ugly bug that looks like a buffalo. Then begins to hurdle recklessly through a field of flowers until camera seems to try to hit another rock! Boom! Goes through window. Oh ok so it's not a rock. It's this house that looks like a tent. So anyways the "camera" goes into Cody (some Australian boy with no accent) 's room. He hears some weird noise jumps out of bed (wearing nothing but his boxers and goes over to the window. Then he dresses as he goes downstairs and sneaks past his mom. As he goes out the door she senses him entering the kitchen (she's a little slow) and yells after him. He keeps running to where ever he's in such a hurry to get to.  
  
At some point in here the title flashes.  
  
As Cody runs he alerts all the animals (he talks to them?) finally he trips over a porcupine and falls in a log. A kangaroo is using the log as a warning horn and blows him into a tree.  
  
Cody: Who is it this time?  
  
He means what animal got captured and is awaiting skinning and selling  
  
Faloo (The kangaroo): You wouldn't know her. Her name is Marachute or something like that  
  
Cody: Wait, Marahute. the golden eagle? Yeah I read about her in the scrip-  
  
Faloo: (makes silencing motion) shuttup! You don't meet her for another 10 minutes or so  
  
Cody: Sorry but you said her name wrong.  
  
Faloo: ok let's try this again  
  
Disembodied voice: Pretend you didn't hear that  
  
All the animals: Who are you?  
  
Disembodied voice: I am the disembodied voice that talks to the audience  
  
Cody: oh ok well if you don't mind we'd like to go back to the script  
  
Faloo: You wouldn't know her. Her name's Marahute.  
  
Cody: Where is she?  
  
Faloo: She's caught, high in a poacher's trap! You're the only one who can save her.  
  
Cody:  
I'll get her loose.  
  
Faloo:  
Right-oh, hop on, no time to lose. She's up on top of that ridge. Be  
careful lit'l friend. Her fate rests in you hands. Cody begins to climb.  
(under breath) She's doomed. 


	2. Dumbass falls in a pitt

Now the camera sees various "time lapse" views of Cody climbing up the cliff.  
  
Cody reaches top and pulls a knife out of his boot. Geez I could swear he was an american! Starts randomly hacking at the ropes binding poor Marahute, managing to scare her to death. Cuts through last rope. Then Marahute takes off and knocks him off a cliff in doing so.  
  
There's something I'd better mention about Cody. He's not human. I don't know what he is but he's not human. He's like a cat with nine lives only he has more than nine. Also he talks to animals. Just letting' ya know.  
  
So anyways Cody falls, what, 500 feet off of this cliff head first, shirt falling off (again) and *splat* lands right on Marahute's back. He sits up right away too. He's not even stunned. After his misadventure Cody (who may have hit his head harder than I thought) sits on the back of an eagle probably 50 feet long from wing-tip to wing-tip. Then the eagle goes way up in the air over all the clouds and Cody loses a second life. See the atmosphere is so thin up there that Cody doesn't get enough oxygen. So he dies. Only he doesn't know it. Neither does the Audience.  
  
Then Cody laughs and goes higher. He loses another life and the eagle has to bring him down. She brings Cody so far down that he's water skiing (with no skis) until she runs into a tree. Then he keeps going (with no momentum?) over a waterfall and once again lands on her back. They go to Marahute's nest and after visiting her eggs Cody falls over trying to look sideways with his head upside down (like an eagle). She gives him a feather and he runs off with it making jet noises.  
  
A bell jingles off in the distance and Cody, being the idiot he is, goes after it. He finds a little mouse tied to a branch in front of a pile of leaves.  
  
Mouse: No! No! Come no closer! You'll fall in the tr-  
  
Cody falls in a pit alarm goes off  
  
Mouse: Are you okay?  
  
Cody: Yes  
  
Mouse : Okey Dokey (runs off)  
  
Cody: Hey! Where'd you go?  
  
Mouse returns carrying a brittle piece of twine.  
  
Mouse: Grab Hold!  
  
Cody (once again being dumb) grabs twine, which, of course, breaks. Mouse gets a bigger piece of rope and ties it to the tree to hold Cody. Cody has climbed halfway up when he hears a lot of noise. Camera turns to see a big truck crush a bunch of trees and come zooming in to check the trap.  
  
Mouse scurries into Cody's backpack. A big tall man (that looks somewhat like Aragorn) and a evil looking lizard appear. The man points a gun at Cody and the lizard brakes the rope with one log fingernail sending Cody and Mouse into the pit again.  
  
Man: Well, it appears I caught something  
  
I'll put up more later. Please R&R this soon I want to know if I should finish it or not. 


	3. Dumbass acts even stupider is that possi...

Ok I'm back. Thus continues the story:  
  
McLeach (the big hunter dude that resembles Aragorn): Joanna (kicks lizard) have you been diggin' holes out here again? (under breath) dumb lizard! Always tryin' to bury squirrels out here.  
  
Cody: Uh-uh! It's a trap! And you're a poacher!  
  
McLeach: Trap?! Where'd you get an idea like that? We LOVE the animals! (hugs Joanna for emphasis, suddenly a bunch of cloaked figures appear and they all sing 'give peace a chance')  
  
McLeach holds gun to Cody's chest and pokes his still-showing belly-button. Cody gulps and backs away.  
  
McLeach: Well grab hold! Don't you want to get out of there?  
  
Cody holds gun and McLeach tries to pull him out. Halfway up Cody falls back down in pit.  
  
Disembodied voice: 45 minutes later:  
  
Cody and McLeach are lying gasping on the ground.  
  
Suddenly Joanna sees a picture of Legolas hanging out of Cody's pocket  
  
Joanna thinking (she's smarter than McLeach): Wow! He's a fan too!  
  
Joanna attacks the backpack trying to get the poster. In doing so she knocks McLeach into the pit.  
  
McLeach: I'm gonna kill her. (climbs out of hole) I'm gonna kill that dumb, slimy, egg-sucking salamander!  
  
Joanna hides behind Cody and the backpack until McLeach sees the poster of Legolas. The One Feather is sticking out of Cody's backpack too. McLeach gets all twitchy and starts petting Joanna, who smiles happily and then realizes that, whoa, McLeach is petting her! After that she edges away. Off a cliff. She comes back but stays away from McLeach. She and Cody should team up! They are both invincible!  
  
McLeach: Where did you get that?!?!?!?!!??!!?  
  
Cody: Amazon.com  
  
McLeach: Not the poster! You're supposed to be some kid who lives in the middle of nowhere remember?  
  
Cody: oh the feather? It was a present.  
  
McLeach: From who?  
  
Cody: It's a secret.  
  
Now take a moment to think (if you even can) about what you would say in this situation. Would you tell the truth? Most people wouldn't. If you answered yes then you must love seeing the food chain destroyed. And all of our lives as we know them.  
  
McLeach grabs Cody and puts him in a huge cage sitting on the back of his truck they dive away.  
  
Mouse runs off as it begins to rain. However when you see McLeach driving off singing 'Home on the Range' There's no rain. Queer, isn't it?  
  
That's all I have time for now. I'll write more later. R&R please! 


	4. Dumbass gets eaten by crocodiles

Ok I'm back at popular demand. At least one person wanted me to continue. Thank you for the good review it made me feel good about myself because my self-esteem was especially low after nobody reviewed it! I am crying! But thank you! I worship you! Actually I don't even know you.  
  
McLeach: Sic 'im Joanna!  
  
Joanna runs after Cody until he runs off of a cliff to waiting crocodiles. McLeach grabs him (too late he already died again) and pulls him up.  
  
McLeach: Whoa little guy! Don't get yourself eaten by crocodiles yet! You're way too valuable! Now tell me where the bird is!!!!!!  
  
At this point, McLeach starts scaring Cody (he's not the brightest chap) and then he goes all freaky and gets black circles around his eyes (like Bilbo in LOTR) and starts trying to pull the One Feather away from Cody.  
  
Cody: Get away from me! My mom'll call the rangers!  
  
McLeach: Oh no! not the rangers! Please! Don't let you mom call the rangers! (Cody looks pleased until McLeach laughs) My dear ol' baby! Eaten by the crocodiles! (Cody looks shocked)  
  
McLeach throws him in the truck and drives off towards his "house". It is still not raining on them. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it's still raining on the nameless mouse. He runs in this tiny little pot of a house (literally) and starts squeaking wildly: Help! Help! McLeach took the boy ! He took the little boy! Send for help!!!  
  
The telegraph mouse begins typing the message in Morse code; camera pans up to roof, where other mice aim the antenna; message is seen being relayed to the Marshall Islands In a wrecked plane on the Marshall Islands, a mouse listens to the Morse code message; he recognizes the distress call, activates the controls on the plane, and relays message to Hawaii. Message is seen being relayed to Hawaii. Screens fill with RAS RAS RAS. Mice are watching through binoculars in the back. The send a signal to other mice. They dial the phone to distract guard. Phone rings. Guard leaves. Mice take over, type (jump) on keyboard and read message. "RAS... RAS... ATTENTION BOY KIDNAPPED IN AUSTRALIA IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED" They type "Relay to New York". Message then journeys across the ocean to Los Angeles, then to Denver, St. Louis, Chicago, Washington D. C. and then New York.  
  
The "camera" zooms in on the UN building. The mouse UN is meeting beneath it. They are called the RAS (rescue aid society). As it's night in New York all the mice are in their pyjamas  
  
Head Chairmouse: Order! Order! Yes, yes I know it's late but I'm... oh  
really! Sir Charles. Hello, hello Frank, how are you, nice to see you!  
And Esmerelda, there you are! Ha ha.. all right, quiet now please,  
everyone pay attention. There has been a kidnapping in Australia.  
(delegates gasp, a few faint) A young boy needs our help. This is a  
mission requiring our very finest, and I know we are all thinking of the  
same two mice. (everyone looks to the seats of Hungary and USA, which are  
empty delegates gasp again.) What's this?!? Gone? We must find Bernard  
and Miss Bianca at once! 


	5. In which Dumbass has disappeared

OK so that last chapter stunk butt don't despair friends! I shall prevail! And here I go!  
  
Bernard and Bianca, as you can guess, were not at the RAS meeting. Duh. But they were sitting in a chandelier. Actually it's a French restaurant that is in a chandelier. Don't ask me why! It's got crickets for waiters and cooks. A cricket is walking below the chandelier in the real restaurant a pea falls on the ground (eeeew I'm allergic to peas) the cricket picks it up.  
  
Cricket: Pea soup!  
  
He slingshots it up to the chef who puts it in some water and gives it to a server. Meanwhile Bernard and Bianca are having a "romantic dinner".  
  
Bernard: Miss Bianca.There's something I want to ask you about  
  
Bianca (putting her chin on her hands): Yes dahling?  
  
Bernaard: Well, it's like this, Miss Bianca, I would be honered if you would.(pokes finger around in pocket and finds a hole) if you would exuse me for a minute?  
  
Bianca: Of course-  
  
Bernard crawls under the table looking around. He sees a ring roll under a table and goes after it. It goes under a fat lady who accidentally puts the ring on her foot. Nernard takes it off and she slaps the man who is sitting at the table with her.  
  
François (another cricket) : Pardonnez moi, madamoiselle? I have important news!  
  
Bianca: Yes François?  
  
François: You and Bernard have been asked to attend a misson to Austrailia by the RAS. There has been a kidnapping.  
  
Bianca: Oh that is terrible! I must tell Bernard!  
  
François: Allow me madame! I will tell him immediately!  
  
Bernard (walking towards table): Miss Bianca will you marry me? Nono! Miss Bianca if you would. that is.  
  
François: Quickly Monsieur Bernard! I must speak with you!  
  
Bernard: Not now François: I'm busy!  
  
Pushes François out of the way knocking him into a large water beetle. That causes a war and the cook comes out to break them up. Bernard goes back to Bianca  
  
Bernard: Miss Bianca. I have something to tell you  
  
Bianca: Oh François told me all about that! I accept!  
  
Bernard: You mean you really want to?  
  
Bianca: Of course! It's not a matter of want but a matter of duty!  
  
Bernard (swelling with pride) yes I suppose it is! 


	6. No Dmbass but lots of PINA COLADAS!

Sorry! All y'all peeps! I'm a little high off of Pina Coladas right now so tell me how this next one is! Don't worry! Non-alcoholic! Sorry person who told me I spelled Australia wrong!  
  
Bernard: V-very well. How does next April sound to you?  
  
Bianca: April?!? We must act tonight!  
  
Bernard: Tonight? B-but this is so sudden! Don't you even need a gown or something?  
  
Bianca (what kind of name is that?): Oh no! Only a pair of khaki pants and some hiking boots!  
  
Bernard: Hiking Boots?????  
  
By now they are at the 'UN' building.  
  
Bianca: Delegates, Bernard and I have some very important news (Bernard swells with pride, if it's possible for him to swell any more) Bernard and I.  
  
Are getting married!!! Bernard thought. He could hear her ugly little accent saying this  
  
Bianca: Bernard and I have decided to accept the mission to Australia  
  
Bernard: Australia!?!  
  
Bianca gives Bernard a look that says I don't have time for this and continues  
  
Bianca: We leave immediately!  
  
Bernard has gone into a kind of shock. He keeps murmuring: Australia?!? Australia?!? Australia?!? As though the words confuse him. However he's so stupid that they probably do.  
  
Main Chairmouse Dude: Oh FABULOUS! Nobody else will go but we figured you two would be foolish-I mean brave enough to. Of course the weather is a little nippy but we won't let that stop us will we?  
  
Bianca: of course we won't! Come on Bernard!  
  
As they leave they hear the Chairmouse laughing maniacally.  
  
Bernard (they are now at the 'Airport'): Uh Miss Bianca.I um don't think it's such an, um, good idea to fly this soon after eating.  
  
Bianca: You'll be fine Darling *mutters* just don't sit next to me.  
  
Bernard: But aren't you supposed to wait 45 minutes or something?  
  
Bianca: Oh for the sake of all that is holy just knock on the door and see if Orville is there!  
  
Bernard: *a bit surprised at seeing this side of Bianca* Yes.well.um.*knocks* Oh-nobody's-home-let's-go! *big bunch of snow falls on his head* oops  
  
Bianca: Bernard!! This is no time to play in the snow!  
  
Bernard: I wasn't-  
  
Bianca: Oh look Bernard! *Under New Management: See Orville is written on a sign* Let's go Bernard! 


End file.
